Disorganisation is the devil.

Satan himself sat down one day and devised the purest most malicious form of evil - disorganisation. Nothing haunts my nightmares more than the thought of being disorganised, or dealing with disorganised people. It drives me BANANAS. Now, you're either going to be one of those people who's screaming YES at your screen, one of those people who feels a pang of guilt because I'm talking about you, or one of those people who's so disorganised that they don't realise they're disorganised - and is smiling along happily. In any case, disorganisation is a scourge on the planet and I'm here to stop it.

Have a calendar.

Have a fucking calendar. What's wrong with you? Do you think that organised people just know everything they're ever planning to do? No. No we don't. We put it all in our calendar so that at a simple glance, we know exactly where we're meant to be and what we're meant to be doing. I never miss an appointment. Or a deadline. I look at my calendar about 5 times a day so that I'm always focused on what I need to get done, and plan my time accordingly. I'm so deeply compulsively organised that I not only use my phone calendar, I have it synced and open on my desktop computer too - AND - get this - I also have an old school paper planner book thingy that is literally on my desk and I hand-write my calendar into it every week. So, if you're just winging it and desperately trying not to forget that dentist appointment 2 months from now - you've got no excuses. Calendar. Now.

Be punctual, FFS.

If you've ever been late to meet me somewhere, I want you to know that a little part of my soul died for every minute you were late. Like how fairies die when you sneeze or something. YOU'RE KILLING ME. Unless you have a very good reason for being late, ie: car broke down, baby vomited on your face, train exploded - then you should be ON TIME. I'm so punctual that I get anxious if I'm on time - I have to be at least 10 minutes early to everything to retain my sanity. Driving somewhere? Hey, look it up on our old mate Google maps to see how long it will take. Think it might be difficult to find a park? Leave an extra 10 minutes for parking. Catching public transport? Catch the train before the one you need to. That way if it's delayed or you miss it - there's plenty of time to get there. Genius, right? Mind boggling stuff here.

Communicate clearly.

Most people have absolutely dismal communication skills. I detest this to no end. They teach us English at school but do they actually teach us how to communicate? Apparently not. Because everyone sucks at it. A few tips - if someone sends you an email - read it. All of it. Reply to it within the week. If you're busy, quickly reply and tell them you're busy and will get on it when you can. If someone sends you a message, reply to the message. Do not make a phone call as it is the most inefficient use of time and effort imaginable. Use proper spelling and punctuation. If you're crap at spelling and grammar - install Grammarly and it will fix all your mistakes automatically. If you are dealing with someone that you work with, use professional language. Do not type lyk dis or put in luv h<3rts. The clearer and more efficient you are when communicating with others - the more organised and on track you will be with what you need to get done. Alright, rant over. It's not that I have anything against people who aren't as organised as me, some of the people I love the most refuse to use a calendar or are just incapable of being organised at a sub-atomic level. It's more that I hate disorganisation in itself. And would like to abolish it, back to the depths of hell you foul fiend! Be gone!