How to over-communicate and avoid misunderstandings.

Unless you have the gift of saying exactly what you mean all the time, then over-communicating may be a skill to put on your learning list in 2018. Most misunderstandings can be avoided or diffused quickly just by over-communicating. Sure, communication is key. But most people stop before it gets uncomfortable. And that's where the gold happens. Pushing it that bit further into the realm of actual authenticity is key. Is this making any sense?

Here's an example of communication.

Person A: "Honey can you send me a message when you're on the way home?"

Person B: "Ok... why, don't you want me out late?"

Person A: "No I just want to know."

Person B: "Fine."

Seems like they're communicating, but really there's a lot going on here that hasn't been said. Which can lead to making assumptions (yep it makes an ass of you and me) and people tend to fill in the blanks about what the other person means. Here Person A isn't really letting Person B know the reasoning behind what they're saying. Resulting in them both being somewhat resentful of the other.

Here's an example of overcommunicating:

Person A: "Honey can you send me a message when you're on the way home please?"

Person B: "Sure, don't you want me out late?"

Person A: "No that's fine, I'll just be able to sleep better once I know you're on your way here. Otherwise I worry!"

Person B: "No worries darling, don't fret I'll let you know."

See how any potential issues get cut off because the whole story is put out on the table? Even though it can be uncomfortable admitting vulnerability, it encourages trust and understanding from the other person. This is just a very simple example, I'm sure you can think of an instance or two where you or someone else should've divulged more than they did. Everyone has different expectations, so it's important to clarify exactly what things mean so that you're both on the same page. If something means something different to each of you, then shit will totally hit the fan. So really spelling things out may seem stupid, but in the long run it will benefit everyone. Also, over-communication helps to cut through the bullshit. Over-communicating only works if you're telling the truth, obviously. No use spewing lies everywhere. This works with friends, colleagues, partners, parents - just say what you mean and really spell-it-out. That way we can all get on the same page sooner and live happily ever after.

#overcommunication #communication #talking #relationships

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